![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Do you want something? Most of us do want something. Our wants may be for physical objects; a new couch, a chocolate bar, a kindle (that's one of mine). Sometimes it is something abstract; respect, concern, world peace. Sometimes it is about wanting something gone; a headache, a loud noise, a mouse in the house!
It is a rare person who never wants, and wants are often what drive us to act, rather than sit back impassively as the world whirls about us.
It is a rare person who never wants, and wants are often what drive us to act, rather than sit back impassively as the world whirls about us.
Yet not everything we want is possible to obtain, even if we are deserving of what we want. It can't be ours. Sometimes we can get the object but we need to take a different path than the one we have been taking. And something what we want isn't what is good or healthy for us.
When your wants make you feel unhappy with life in general it is time to turn to your journal to sort it out.
When your wants make you feel unhappy with life in general it is time to turn to your journal to sort it out.
Begin by writing down exactly what you want. Be as specific as possible. "I want an Amazon Kindle, 8th generation".
Next write down why you want that particular object. "I like the way it works. Lightweight, easy to hold. X-ray, dictionary and footnoting system are all dreams come true for me.
Then write down why you don't have the item at this point. "Money, pure and simple."
Then write down why you don't have the item at this point. "Money, pure and simple."
Next brainstorm. How can I get the object? "Gift list, save, find another job, find someone who is selling the item for cheaper price."
After that write down what will happen if you can't get the object. "I will survive. It is something I want, but don't need. I can make do without it. It is disappointing, however, it isn't a need. I can use apps on the computer or my phone."
Finally, write down what you have that does make you happy. List three to five things that you have
Finally, write down what you have that does make you happy. List three to five things that you have
It is okay to feel sad or disappointed by something you can't or are unlikely to get. It is okay to want. The problem comes not from feelings but allowing the feelings to control us, rather than let us control the feelings.
I do want a kindle, and have for a long time. Am I likely to get one? Probably not. Is that okay? Yes. If I received one or managed to buy one would I be happy?
For a little while. But happiness is never permanent. There will always be a new want.
Can I be happy without it?
Yes. By acknowledged that I am sad about what I lack and recounting what I do have, what makes me happy and why; my - husband, children, children-in-law, grandchildren (who love me despite my weirdness), my phone (Xiaomi Redmi note 4, my Lenovo Yoga notebook (lightweight, easy to tote), a new back support that helps reduce my back pain.
I have. I lack. And I have to see both.
