Self-Care: Noting Your Needs

Aug. 18th, 2019 11:51 am
salixj: (Default)

Last night I had one of my sleepless nights, and, unlike many a night I know the cause.

Early in the morning I woke up in severe pain from my legs.

I got up, took two acetaminophen and walked about a bit, then tried to get back to sleep. No go. Finally found the heating pad which had fallen to the foot of my bed, plugged it in and popped it beneath my back, that did the trick.

My back is a wreck and it affects the rest of me. Finding the cause, well is that as important as finding the solution? 

Self-care means not only applying heat and taking better care of my posture, not only getting (tomorrow) a deep massage from a professional (can't really afford in terms of money but it is important in terms of health), but maybe, also, if the issue isn't taken care of by the above, to go get it looked at.

Can I say right here and now how much I dislike going to doctors? For two reasons really.

1. I am afraid it looks like I'm complaining. Buck up girl! Nothing we can really do about it.
2. I am afraid it could mean something really bad.

Yet, this is what I might need to do. Face this, quite typical, discomfort, and go to medical.

That is what self-care looks for me right now.

What does self-care look like for you? What do you need to do for yourself to care for yourself?

Is it eat better and exercise more? Is it treat yourself to a chocolate bar? Is it buy yourself that new perfume you have been wanting? Or something else?

What are three things you can do for yourself today, that will make life happier for you today? What are three things you can do for yourself today that will make your future brighter? Write down what you can do in your journal and write alongside it what the benefit will be. If you are having trouble coming up with the six items pose it to yourself as a question "What are three things I can do for myself that will make today happier/brighter/etc"  and then begin to answer, leaving the thoughts come as they will, no editing. You can write "I don't know, I'm not sure what I want. Right now I'm feeling/want/need" and just keep writing till the idea comes.

Then, do what is on your list, and write a follow-up. Did you make good choices? Why or why not?

 


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Dissatisfaction is a Gift: Journaling Desire

Apr. 7th, 2019 10:26 am
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Do you want something? Most of us do want something. Our wants may be for physical objects; a new couch, a chocolate bar, a kindle (that's one of mine). Sometimes it is something abstract; respect, concern, world peace. Sometimes it is about wanting something gone; a headache, a loud noise, a mouse in the house! 

It is a rare person who never wants, and wants are often what drive us to act, rather than sit back impassively as the world whirls about us.
 
Yet not everything we want is possible to obtain, even if we are deserving of what we want. It can't be ours. Sometimes we can get the object but we need to take a different path than the one we have been taking. And something what we want isn't what is good or healthy for us.

When your wants make you feel unhappy with life in general it is time to turn to your journal to sort it out. 
 
Begin by writing down exactly what you want. Be as specific as possible. "I want an Amazon Kindle, 8th generation". 
Next write down why you want that particular object. "I like the way it works. Lightweight, easy to hold. X-ray, dictionary and footnoting system are all dreams come true for me.
Then write down why you don't have the item at this point. "Money, pure and simple."
Next brainstorm. How can I get the object? "Gift list, save, find another job, find someone who is selling the item for cheaper price."
After that write down what will happen if you can't get the object. "I will survive. It is something I want, but don't need. I can make do without it. It is disappointing, however, it isn't a need. I can use apps on the computer or my phone."
Finally, write down what you have that does make you happy. List three to five things that you have 
 
It is okay to feel sad or disappointed by something you can't or are unlikely to get. It is okay to want. The problem comes not from feelings but allowing the feelings to control us, rather than let us control the feelings.
 
I do want a kindle, and have for a long time. Am I likely to get one? Probably not. Is that okay? Yes. If I received one or managed to buy one would I be happy? 
 
For a little while. But happiness is never permanent. There will always be a new want.
 
Can I be happy without it?
 
Yes. By acknowledged that I am sad about what I lack and recounting what I do have, what makes me happy and why; my - husband, children, children-in-law, grandchildren (who love me despite my weirdness), my phone (Xiaomi Redmi note 4, my Lenovo Yoga notebook (lightweight, easy to tote), a new back support that helps reduce my back pain. 
 
I have. I lack. And I have to see both.

 

 

 


 
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