Journal to Joy

[salixj]

Pesach (Passover) ended, well technically ended Friday night when I lit candles for Shabbat.

The end of the holidays always leaves me with a bit of a down feeling. There is a sense of loss, as the special quality of the week cedes to the ordinary.

I expected to feel low.

Motzei Shabbat (Saturday night) we rushed to get everything put away. Often we would then go out for pizza or other chametz (leavened products which are forbidden during Pesach). My husband's leg was bothering him and we didn't go.

Okay. Not the biggest deal.
Then I learned the horror that had gone on in a San Diego Synagogue on the last day of Passover.*
Oh did I feel low now.
I went to bed, woke up the next morning to find that a woman had died, having giving her life to protect the Rabbi and that in addition there were three wounded.

Then there was the horrific antisemitic cartoon in the NYT.

My mood sunk even lower.

I had a bath, watched an episode of She-Ra, and managed to try and bring my spirits up a bit. It worked, a bit, and I decided to treat my family to pancakes for dinner.

My husband got the flour and maple syrup and I retrieved the sifter from the upstairs. I had put it in a bag to keep it clean.
It had mold all over it. Prior to Pesach I had cleaned it and I guess it didn't dry well enough.
Obviously, we weren't having pancakes.

I set about cleaning the sifter and decided, well tomorrow then!

I woke early and sifted the flour, put it in a bag in the freezer, and thought of the delicious pancakes we would have for dinner.

This morning I woke up, and my daughter announced she would be home late, and would be having dinner out with a friend.

Pancakes were for us as a family! Leftovers tonight.

And my mood sunk again. No. I said no to the sadness. I said no to the sadness.

I got dressed and went out. I snapped a bunch of pictures that made me smile. I added a specific picture to my gifts section and then forced myself to sit down and write about the picture, why it touched me.

I'm not in a state of elation now. I am not, however, in a funk. My mood is better, I'm feeling better about the day ahead of me.

Life is a continual challenge, little things, big things. Plans and go awry. Grey skies appear overhead.

Today, I challenged that grey mood, and I won.

Comments

Disappointment

[rinab]

Wow - that was a disappointing movement back into the normal. I salute you for doing something active to elevate your mood.