Journey is You

I had not known he was ill, and you can imagine my shock. While he had dementia physically I thought he was well.

As an Orthodox Jew I keep the mourning custom of Shiva, seven days in which you give up pleasure and remain in the home. As is customary friends visit to comfort you, bringing food and words of love.

Because I lost a parent (I lost my mother 8 years earlier), I have an additional 30 days and then a year of reduced pleasure.

What I found from this period was how important that slowing down is.

The rush of the world became narrowed to a small segment of my life. People arrived, spoke about my father. I showed off his carving that he did for me, talked about how much my parents meant to each other, and slowly became accepting of my new status as an orphan.

It hurts even as a 61 year old.

But I also realized as the week ended and I have entered sholoshim how important that slowing down is.

So often we rush into the world, must do this, must do that, demanding immediate response to everything.

And is it that important that we rush into the next thing before we have satisfied ourselves with what is before us?

It is awful that it took a tragedy for me to understand how much this rushing is causing me harm, and how much I have lost from it.

I do not want any more tragedies to teach me this. I want to embrace the beauty of life and enjoy it as it comes, not worry about the future.

So I aim to slow down, to treat myself gently. 

Have you seen this in your own life? How much you are missing by being the hare instead of the tortoise? Has anything in your life slowed you down? And what was the event?